DON'T · TRY · TO · OUTWEIRD · ME

Thank you for coming down for the interview yesterday. It was nice to meet you and I applaud your courage to be here alone and studying as I know myself how hard it is to do that sometimes.
And yes, we are keen to have you for internship at freestate so just let me know your schedule from 1st july onwards, if possible soon. Then we can discuss more details.

Best Wishes.
Gozde Zehnder
freestate
www.freestatesite.com

*jums up and down*
I'M GOING CRAAAAAAZZZZY!

^____________^

Things have been looking good lately,
maybe too good to be true.
I'm getting drugged up.
Too addicted about everything about..

I'm trying to juggle 2 jobs, 3 if you count transcribing videos.
I'm nearing the point of burn out.

tomorrow, I'll have to decide which one to strike off.
I ws called for an interview at a production company.
They're looking for interns.

wish me luck.

things that should not have happened, happened. words I should not have said came out.
suddenly I have to make room, I have to juggle so many things. (which I'm doing a pretty bad job of at the moment)

need to get a job soon. I'll be probably thankful to be too exhausted to even think about petty things.

I have to get my life back on track. lol.

**STAB STAB STAB STAB**

saya ng buhay ko.
tragic.

buntong hininga

watched IRON MAN.
it was good. haha. 2 hours just flew. haha.
fast pacing, spectacular explosions, witty dialogue.
formulaic but entertaining.

finished watching the movie at around 12AM plus
and then we actually wanted to watch another movie..
Harold and Kumar
BUT.. the movie has already started so yah.

and then I just joked about going clubbing.
then another friend burst out saying
"SHIT!!! it's switch night today!"

haha. and then i just found myself drinking my third drink for the night.
I think I drank a lot.
my worst fears have been confirmed.
I have seen the proof with my own eyes.
so I guess I drank more and danced more..
maybe dance is not the right word.
more like I lost myself in the music
it felt good to just shut your eyes and feel the thump of the music..
I seriously overexerted myself, more than usual.
so much so that I was surprised myself
by finding myself dancing with an ang moh.
his dance moves were BAD though. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

the last few songs got us breathless, we couldn't stop dancing because
the songs just kept on playing song after song, it was crazy.

met the owner of the club when we were resting on the other room
he gave us CDs, chatted for a while. he was nice.

on the way home, there was this sleazy guy who thought we were so wasted
that he could just pick us up with his PATHETIC attempts..

"oh.. yeah.. I went to the philippines too"
we asked where..
he changed the topic.
"oh.. I actually have a daughter waiting at home"
(maybe he's trying to show that he's caring or something or maybe he thought we'd go, AWWWWW?)
"when I was young I used to hang out with my filipino friends and then we'd sing this song, 'hey.. lonely girl'...
(omg. that was the most disgusting LIE I have ever heard)

and his hands. seriously. I wanted to cut them off

when we got fed up with his dumb banter
I flagged a taxi to get away from the sleazebag
and then he tried to quickly ask our numbers.
LOL. I pretended I didn't hear anything.

my friend gave her number though.
haha.
she said she'll just ignore his call.
but how will she ignore the call if she doesn't know it's him calling on the other end of the line? LOL

----X
I've been bored since school's out. finally things are starting to roll in.

FRIDAY: we will be filming a casting session for a local feature film.
I'm so psyched! HAHA. I'm helping out my senior do the casting. Should be fun.
I'm imagining lousy acting = uncontrollable laughter. haha. or maybe professional actors= wow.
haha. hopefully it's the latter. finally!!! productive use of my free time.

SATURDAY: after exams celebration with coursemates! haha.

SUNDAY: WORK
MONDAY: WORK
TUESDAY: Dinner with friends
WEDNESDAY: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! watching Iron Man! for free!!! HAHAHAHAHAH. it's good to have good friends. hahahahaha
THURSDAY: after exam party at a friend's house.
FRIDAY: attending FILAMENT 2008 (film screening of final year projects at the singapore art museum)

that will be my sched for the next few days.
I'm happy there's something to do everyday.

^_^

Second week of April
Still no sign of the pay.
the Lecturer who's in charge of our pay is flying off next week to India.
The supervisors are flying off to god knows who knows where.
ok. they're busy.
pay will probably come next week.
no choice. borrow money.

Third week of April:
EXAMS.
How the hell am I going to EAT at all if I don't have any money???
need to borrow again.
I keep on thinking next week.. next week.
it's freaking frustrating having to think of MONEY
when you're having EXAMS.

Fourth week of April:
got a call from the ONE who as supposed to be in charge of our pay.
"Anna, I'm so sorry. I'll make sure by Monday you'll get your pay"
ok. at least he said sorry. and now there's a reassurance that MONDAY, the pay will come.

on the said MONDAY
(which is today)
supervisor:
Anna, I'll give you your pay on WEDNESDAY. because the boss is having surgery.
Anna:
erm. ok.
supervisor: ok, thanks for understanding.
(Anna thinks: IF ONLY understanding could pay for my transportation or food, then maybe it's ok)

sigh. I am seriously pissed off.
I mean, COME ON!!!!
21 FREAKING F*CKING DAYS HAVE PASSED!!!
THE BOSS WAS NOT IN SURGERY THEN
21 DAYS IS A F*CKING LOOOOONG TIME.
too F*CKING LONG.

***sorry for ranting. I can't express my frustration any other way than this.***

ok im diversing. haha.
so while I was happily watching and reading the subtitles,
suddenly I heard..

"ARAY KO ANG SAKIT SAKIT NAMAN!!!"
(OUCH< HEY! THAT REALLY HURTS YOU KNOW!)

I couldn't believe my ears.
the subtitle read: She's speaking Tagalog.

I don't know whether to be amused or not.
Takuya Kimura was getting out of the narow isle
inside the airplane in a hurry.
And he bumped into a CLEANER.
She was the one who was speaking Tagalog.
er.....

was there really a need for the script to include that?
were the script writers friends with that woman who acted as a cleaner?
erm. ok. now I'm NOT amused at all.

there was no point including that in!!
even if the script was in japanese!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

but at least I'm not that jittery anymore when it comes to exams.
now, I'm more of.. JADED.

until now I still feel sick whenever I think about the exams.
it's like you want to puke but there's nothing coming out.
haha.

~anyway, exams are over! yay.
now I have three months break.
I'm still thinking of what to do for the long break.
probably work. bleah.

I want to do something production related.

anyway, here's the long overdue photo of me as a slut. LOL
I seriously think I CANNOT make it.

I didn't think fishnets would be sooo FUN to wear. HAHA

here's my favourite photo.
we were in the middle of watching the performances for drama class.
I called my friend and when she turned, I clicked.
I think it shows something gritty and haunting.

I didn't think it would turn out this way. haha
was just fooling around with the cam with everybody.

obviously compared to my friend, she did a better rendition of "slut"
sigh. have to learn how to ham it up a notch next time. HAHA

NEXT WEEK WILL BE THE MASS CEREMONIAL BURNING OF MY NOTES! WOOT
(well not really burning, haha.)

tomorrow will be the performance of a lifetime.
LOL. I'll be playing a prostitute. WOOT.

If I look cool tomorrow I'll upload pictures.
or maybe not. my eyebags are getting huge LOL
haha.. added nuance in my character. eyebags.

I dnt know if they managed to buy the fishnet stockings.
or if I even have the guts to wear them.
fishnet stockings.
omg.

I probaly won't be able to sleep anymore till performance time later.
wish me luck

like my friends' birthdays.
or class outings that have been scheduled and decided long before.
or drama class.. (haha I know it sounds a bit off)

I missed a whole day's worth of school today.
I basically slept the whole day away
and only woke up for work in the evening.
which in the end, was a mistake.
because my roommate was supposed to work for today.

when she opened the door and she saw me sitting there at the table,
we kind of just froze there.
haha.

I hate it when I miss important things.
they watched the video of our performance
the week before Chinese New Year.

It would have been hilarious seeing myself
in that disgustingly gawdy floral outfit.
( I was playing a senile aunty who thinks the
two girls next door are her daughters)

I asked my friend what they did for drama class today
and she told me, the teacher said,

"you were really into the role".

It would have been nice if I was there to hear it.
shucks.

------

I'm feeling so morose.
I just finished watching Atonement.
James McAvoy raaaaawks.
LOL

The bad habits are resurfacing.

I've been thinking too much lately.
probably because I spend more hours being awake
as I keep pushing back ny sleping time.

Hence, the solution would be to sleep more.

I need to find something get me going.
I feel so stagnant
and bloated after eating too much.

Ruffles+Chips Ahoy+2 packs of noodles= BLEAAAAH.

yours truly braved going into
another world in squeaky clean Singapore.

haha. I like seeing things other than malls
and HDB estates.

Welcome to Blue Stars!

This is outside the worker's canteen.
I just realised that his "skirt" matches the vending machine.
It's amazing how the tray colours at the right seem so nice on pic.
or maybe it's just me. haha

there weren't many workers inside the canteen at that time.
I went after lunch. There's probably not enough tables and chairs to fit
all the workers living in the dormitory.

This reminded me of my hostel days.
The hostels don't have a single stretch of phones like these
thank goodness (or else it would have been hard to really talk on the phone)
there are four (or five?) different types of phones in the picture.
They probably added more and more when they realised that it wasn't enough to put
a couple.

some of the cleaners..

plugs wires cobwebs.

sadly, I did not have the nerve to sneak into the quarters.
It would have been pushing the limits too much
considering I was alone.

Although I really hate how they smell and stuff,
I have a newfound respect for these workers.
I don't think they're any different from us.
living away from home, the payphones, bad food..
although maybe on a different level.

I talked to one of the construction workers
(the one in the middle)hanging out beside the construction trucks.

This is what he said:

"Singapore ah?... (pause, shifts feet)
Singapore.. ok ah, But I’m not happy some items ( hand gesture)
I work at other countries also, But ah,
Singapore? (pause...)
..ok but something different between other countries".

I'm not sure what he really wanted to say
But I think somehow I got what he meant.

Valentines day is for everyone.
Even for Uncle and his China girl mistress.

(kissing was interrupted by a call where he shushed her
before he answered the call)

the predictable hopeless romantics

multiple of two

and we shouldn't forget those who were left waiting.

I wonder if anything interesting will happen on the 29th of Feb.

it's one of those days again
where I feel sad for no reason at all.

but according to many people, I look sad all the time.
some people even call me melancholy.

haha.

lately I've been taking excessive pictures of all sorts of things
that I see everyday.

I go up to people to ask whether i can take their photo..
(sometimes only- usually i just point fast and shoot)
and it feels great! haha. dunno why.
that probably means i made the right choice of course
despite the responses that people give me when they find out
that "Anna is taking mass communications???!"

just recently, a Filipino senior studying in NUS
whom I just met during Chinese New Year eve really pissed me off.
He said "You're taking mass comm in NTU? NTU has mass comm?"
with a face that says "gosh. mass comm? u need to study mass comm?"
I really wanted to cut his head off then and there.

this post is so incoherent..

anyway.

I took this picture cause it's not something you see at the mrt station everyday.

I NEED SUPERMAN TO RESCUE ME.
haha.

HAHA! for drama effect only.

the past 6 weeks has been exhilarating for me.
I was only home (like really at my house)
for less than ten days, just to be physically present
with my family for the Christmas and New Year Holidays.

The rest of the days were spent on the road,
to places I never thought I'd go to,
talking to people I have absolutely no relation with..
sleeping in a house with people
whose names and faces, I initially couldn't remember.

but at the end of it all,
I have no regrets joining this project.

IT WAS THE BEST DECEMBER HOLIDAYS I"VE EVER HAD.
(although no part of the project involved any break/vacation whatsoever-- haha!)

I only have one day left till I go back to Singapore
but I'm really thankful I was given a chance to join the project
as it really opened my eyes,
and it made me think..

This is definitely what I want to do in the future.

To Hell with practicality.
passion won me over.

i think the years of mugging at this time of the year
has come to breaking point..

when you simply want the whole thing to end quickly.

my days.. no my hours after my last exam
on thursday are completely booked. haha.
i don't know if i have time to buy stuff to bring home
and give to people.

for once in my whole stay in singapore,
at the end of the school year
(usually i only have enough to ride a taxi to the airport)
..thankfully, I have a little money to spare.

I can't wait to celebrate
the fact that I have survived yet another
onslaught of what this gruelling period brings...

**********

the christmas lights along the road near plaza singapura
are DAMN nice!!! I feel like buying light purple
christmas lights and bringing it home.

I can't wait to go home!!!!
need to drape the christmas lights on the garden shrubs
need to put the ribbons and trimmings on the arches
need to decorate the xmas tree!!!!

weeeeeeeee!

house: she said something idiotic again and I did not even notice it.
it was Foreman who pointed out that it was idiotic.
she's making me an idiot.
wilson: it's cute. you have a crush.
house: i dnt know, i think it's something systemic
wilson: thirteen's pretty.
you're obviously okay with her.
house: she killed a patient.
wilson: the bitch is pretty.
house: the bitch is a bitch
wilson: ask her out.
house: the bitch? she's a bitch..?!
wilson: no.. the one that's making you an idiot.
it's the story of life.
boy meets girl, boy gets stupid,
boy and girl lives stupidly ever after.
****

house: dr tersey, will you please stand up?
(camera pans from her legs to her upper body)
house: ..nice..
house: i've treated you unfairly, prejudged.
and for me to be a better person,
i need to rectify that situation..
house: you're fired.
(camera shows dr tersey, her expression changes to shock,
then like she's about to cry)

house: you wanna grab some dinner?
maybe a movie?
(foreman shakes his head in disbelief)
house: ..seriously.. (looking intent)